I apologize if you felt insulted by my post.. I do not take any pleasure in seeing you in this situation. I can only respond to the information that you give. If the evidence that you present gives a picture of a wife who says one thing but in reality is really pursuing an affair than, in my opinion, it would be foolish to think that she has seen the light and really wants to rebuild the marriage. For example, informing the OM that she is buying lingerie with him in mind does not convey a picture of a wife who is seeking closure. What you need to understand is that people who are in affairs can give perfomances of being truthful and sincere that are worthy of academy awards. As for her needing to meet this OM for closure. That is a lot of hogwash. She can send a letter or even phone him to end this affair. Healing and getting over an affair cannot begin unless there is NC. Affairs are addictive. The only way to stop is to go cold turkey. That is why NC is so important so healing can begin. Affairs, like alcoholism or drug addiction, can lead to break up of marriages and families. IMO, one does not lend support to a destructive behaviour. That is why I do not agree with the advice that is given to allow an affair to run it’s course.
