Quote: Now, since our short holiday together, she says that she only wants to be friends with OM. I think that she may be realizing that love is not something that we just find or have with somebody else, but something that we create with our beliefs, emotions and actions. When my W was having troubles with our marriage, OM seemed to offer a solution, and she believed it was love. Maybe now she is seeing that this might not have been the case. Or, she may see him again and change her mind again. I don't know.
Some of the advice I have received said that allowing her to see him is not a good idea and I should force her to choose between us. There is certainly something to be said for this. Any other thoughts?
I have always had the belif that you could have friends of the oppiste sex and it would be notthing but friendship. But now I have changed my belifs. Any type of friendship even one with a best friend you have had for years can do damge to a marriage if you share emiontal stuff with the friend and not the spouse.
I would be leary of the friendship, but don't make W chosse at the monet. If you do you will just make things worse.
In my opion you should read what books you can find that help you. Find some things that make you feel good about yourself. And above all remiber the only thing in your R that you truly have control over is how you react. And how you react has affect on how others react to you. Work on how you react to sitch that uslaly are hot points and see if that helps.
