My W and I have just returned from a vacation we planned some time ago, without the kids. We had a great time together, had fun, and were even somewhat intimate. This is due to the fact that before we left W came upon a solution to her problem of choosing between two men (me and OM). She wants to live with me as a roommate (expecting no sex from her), and she wants to be able to vacation twice a year with OM. This idea made her very happy.
Now, since our short holiday together, she says that she only wants to be friends with OM. I think that she may be realizing that love is not something that we just find or have with somebody else, but something that we create with our beliefs, emotions and actions. When my W was having troubles with our marriage, OM seemed to offer a solution, and she believed it was love. Maybe now she is seeing that this might not have been the case. Or, she may see him again and change her mind again. I don't know.
Some of the advice I have received said that allowing her to see him is not a good idea and I should force her to choose between us. There is certainly something to be said for this. Any other thoughts?
I'm curious as to how ChrssyN is going to choose. What will you do now? Let me know if I can offer a different perspective.
