Hi Kay, I agree that you are "playing with fire." Escaping and finding attention is not the solution( although I can most definitely understand why you are doing it) and will lead to more confusion and pain. It sounds like you feel trapped, but waiting 9 yrs and "doing time" is not the solution either. You deserve to be happy and your children need a spirited mom and a harmonious home. I suggest that you confront your H about how miserable you feel and start counseling with him. If he does not want to go, then go yourself. As you start to really deal with the issues, you will go through many difficult emotions, but what also happens is you start to develop a greater sense of self respect. The message is board is great--there are very insightful people here who will offer input/support as you go through your struggles. Keep us posted, Journey
