I am happy I found this website and especailly the message boards. Life is so much better with the internet.
My situation I guess from reading the postings is not as uncommon as I thought. I have been somewhat ashamed to speak to people I know about what's going on in my marriage. Sometimes I have felt like I am being disloyal. Where do I begin with ny situation?. The long and short of it is I have been married about 9 years, I have known my husband about 11 years and we have always had a struggling marriage. Things have gotten better, more peaceful less arguing, but the romance from my point of view is dead. I think I love my husband I am not sure I am in love with him anymore. Our sex life has been nonexistent for the past 3 months or so. He has never been a person good at showing his emotions. He has a very stressful job and brings a lot of the stress home. On my part I used to crave his affection but I do not anymore. I think I got so used to being without it that, its hard to want to be intimate and be vulnerable with him again.
To cut a long story short a couple of days ago we had a very bad argument, and I felt realy lonely, it was memorial day weekend, so anyway I picked up the Reader, a local news paper and looked up the ad sections for people looking for partners, I called a number of people and I have been speaking on my cell phone to a couple of men since then. I tell them about what's going on at home and I enjoy speaking with them. I enjoy the good conversation and they ask me questions about me, about my day, about what I plan to do for the weekend etc. I feel this guys are interested in me. My husband does not know I speak with my friends but the conversations give me pleasure.
So I guess my question is, am I doing anything wrong by speaking to these men over the phone? What should I do about my situation at home?. I am not sure I want to fall in love with my husband again. I really do not want to deal with all the hurt, the manipulation etc. In addition I am bored by him, he talks non stop about how wonderful he is and his problems at work. We have no fun together. I would like to stay married, we have two kids and we live in a nice house in a nice neighbourhood. I have worked so hard to provide my kids with a good place to live, etc. I am thinking I should wait till my youngest is about 18 years old, he is 9 now, then maybe after he is raised I can set about finding a better mate, someone I can trully be intimate with and a companion.
