This is not a "women" problem, as you stated, but rather a HD/LD-ND problem. As this board attests, there are many HD women who are just as frustrated with their LD husbands as we are with our cold wives.
I do think that there are some dynamics unique to women, tho, especially AMERICAN women. There is damned near an epidemic in this country of women being "married to their children," as John Rosemond and others have written about. I also think the whole feminist movement has done a disservice to women, in positioning sex and affection sometimes as a "win/lose" thing, whereby if the husband gets what he wants, he "wins," and therefore the wife must have "lost." Dr. Laura writes -- sensibly, I think -- in her new book that even the WOMEN are unhappy with this current state of affairs.
My wife, too, does NOT seem happy at all.
As Dr. Phil likes to say, "How's that workin' out for ye?"
Thank goodness for some of the public voices like Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil. I have felt, because of the strange interaction I've had at home and my own ignorance that I was 'a sexual creep from hell' simply because I felt desire that would not go away. Because of a post on Dr. Phil, I was able to search and find this web site. You have NO IDEA (maby you do) how relieved I feel to know that there are others who can understand and empathise with my situation. I don't feel nearly as isolated which is a good thing.
I know that at this point, celibacy will not work for me. But, as has been illustrated in this site so well, the anger I feel as a result of my relationship problems CAN be handled better. IT is good to read posts from others who have tried different approaches and who openly comment on what works, what doesn't, etc. It is also especially good to hear from the ladies who struggle. I really have wondered if I was a over sexed freek. How destructive that has been.
Quote: I really have wondered if I was a over sexed freek.
No, actually you are an over-sexed freak, but we'll forgive the spelling. My W regularly accuses me of being an over-sexed freak, but I continually explain to her, that, in order to be "over-sexed" there has to be sex involved, so that makes me immune.
Hairdog - new and improved: 30 percent more witty.
You have to get use to the spellling problems. My 8th grade teacher use to get REALLY frustrated at me for this. I helped calm him by caring less what he tought. lol.
Thanks for the 'there has to be sex involved' part. I had a good chuckle over that.
Quote: I know that at this point, celibacy will not work for me.
I guess that's the issue isn't it? In 28+ years, I've NEVER had a truely enjoyable sexual experience with my W. And damned few experiences at all for that matter. My forced celibacy keeps me angry, hurt, and periodically depressed because it doesn't work for me. But my only choices are to be celibate or to leave. I've chosen to be celibate. I'm still working on changing the sitch with my W, but in the cold hard light of day I have to admit that things will probably never change. I'll keep trying though.
