The home inspection was this morning and he didn't really find anything too major.
But because I guess we had been around I didn't realize that this house is a bit low, I don't think real low but the back yard has places that had water standing in it today. Not good for the shelties. One of the trees in the back yard looks like it isn't going to make it. The trunk is black all the way around and bark is coming off close to the base.
The back yard seemed bigger last time I was there, I guess just adjusting to looking at it.
It just all seems sooooo small. I mean I am used to being able to walk back my drive a nice long ways to the barn and the picnic shelter and there are still fields around me. Here there is no place to go. I am trying to look at it like my apartment. But when I was in my apartment I had David and we were hopefully looking at a future that didn't include an apartment.
I didn't mind it to much, but sitting there in that house today for 3 hours I felt sooooooooooooo ALONE. Why more alone there then in this house I'm not sure unless it is because this is where David lived with me and his stuff is all still here. I guess like he had died, his ghost and his belongings are still here.
I wish I could stay here. I don't want to leave it. I thought maybe I did, but that house felt very small, lonely and foreign today.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
