Okay, C&S, this is a good start with what you've identified. Now it's time to make some goals out of these.
Let's start with two of the biggies, since they can be tackled at once. I'll give you the beginning part and you fill in the rest...
"I will work at being a better parent by putting up a mental stop sign when I want to get on the computer and do _____________ with my children instead."
Can you turn some of the negatives into things you want to work on, and list specifics on what you will be doing instead?
For instance, my biggest issue was how I expressed my anger. I had to list "contain my anger" as my #1 goal. I did this by instituting and enforcing a 24 hour rule by not addressing the issue I was angry about until I had slept on it. I also had to put up a mental stop sign, take a deep breath and then indulge in an activity to take my mind off the issue: play a game with the girls, ask D10 to watch D7 so I could take a bath, put in a funny movie, put on a dance CD and get the girls to dance with me, etc. You get it.
It took awhile for the discipline to become automatic. But I can tell you that I'm a very different person today than I was a year ago.
I'm looking forward to what you list. I hope you feel empowered by setting goals, and that the benefits of doing this work help you stay married and live happily.
You all deserve that.
Betsey
p.s. Is there something you do that can put you into the position of making some good and lasting friendships close to home? Perhaps the mom of one of your kids friends?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
