well i had a little back slide last night..and today The hubby was painting and i told him i was going to go online and check my emails ect.. OM does not know my email address. Anyway I signed on and immediately loaded up my messengers and checked the chatrooms. he was signed in but away, and luckily he didnt message me, and i didnt him. I felt awful though and after coming here signed off. The hubby asked me if i talked to him, and I said no, but that i did bring up the messenger. This ofcourse upset him and he said that i needed to stop this. He is so right I cant believe that i can be so upfront with him and not change. And... here I am again today.. The hubby was supposed to take the modem with him so that i didnt have access all day, but he forgot it because he got up late I'm not supposed to be online, but here i sit.. the only positive thing is I waited until i knew for sure that OM would not be on... but i did check to see if he left me any messages... he did not.. I will take your advice and read the other stories. To answer the 3 questions.

I would like to change my addiction to the Internet
I would like to change my self esteem
I would like to change my involvement to my children and be a better mom and a more supportive wife.


Positive things.
I am a great listener...
I have a good sense of humor
I am a determined individual and usually very successful at projects i take on..
I love my children and tell them that every day.
I am a writer(working on a novel now)
I can sing, and I play guitar...

Negatives
I'm a worrier
I have extreme anxiety
I nag a lot
I am controlling
I am addicted to the Internet
I do not do enough activities throughout the day with my children
I complain too much
I am not appreciative enough of my husband and how he works so that i can stay home with my babies..
I am selfish..
I lack in confidence and therefore am sucked in when a male gives me attention...

this is where i will end for now. On a positive note for today, while avoiding getting online when i knew OM would be on I cleaned my whole kitchen top to bottom... been awhile since i did anything productive like that. I'm going to sign off now and take my children outside to play. Thank you for being so nice to me! I will come on tonight when the hubby is home and read up on the other stories.