No thanks are necessary. And I have no doubt that your fears are real and terrifying. Just remember that all of us had to start some place, and we were scared and hurt and afraid of the outcome.
I'm glad you're going to get the books. Chapter 1 can be found here online if you can have your H sit beside you long enough to print it out.
You don't sound petty at all. Quite the contrary. It takes a very brave person to make the first step. And you did that willingly. I hope you can see the benefits to putting your family as your priority in the very near future.
Just remember, your marriage will be strengthened if you do things that help yourself. Make sure that you aren't just putting a bandaid on a wound that needs a tourniquet.
I have found it helpful to read posts here. Like Sage's (who is a fellow Piecer). Pick someone whose successes you would like to emulate and begin posting to them too. We all had work to do on ourselves, sweetie. And most of us are better people just because we've done the work needed to become happier people. If our spouses agree that the changes were for the better, then it's icing on the cake.
I want to start this ball rolling while you are procuring the books.
1. What are the things about yourself that you would like to change? 2. What are the positive things about you? 3. What are the negatives?
I think you can formulate some goals pretty easily if you can jot down a few ideas here.
WELCOME!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
