Sorry you are here. I had an online EA myself, though it never went as far as yours did. Doesn't matter.
Here's my .02 worth....
If you want this marriage to make it, you need to stop contacting that man right away. And I mean NOW. He's not giving you anything you can't and shouldn't be giving to yourself.
If he tells you that you are attractive and sexy, you can tell yourself the same thing. Problem is, you have to start believing this. He can't be giving you too much support given the long distance issue.
And think about it from another angle: cyber sex is impersonal and not about you. There may have been women before you, and there will probably be more after you.
He's single, and there is no risk whatsoever to him. But you, friend, have EVERYTHING to lose.
I'll tell you right here and right now that the grass is not greener. My H walked out on me 17 months ago. Right then, I cut off contact with OM for good. He, too, was single, and he was in a R faster than I can say lickety split. I, on the other hand, am fighting for my M and my family.
And I can tell you the writing was on the wall and it will end in sadness and hurt. Most of us here can attest to the fact that this type of stuff is devastating. You get to live with the shame of things, and worse? You still have to figure out why you feel so doggone miserable about yourself.
Your H loves you for those faults, sweetie. He's real, and he ain't on webcam. He doesn't click the off button and go away. He made a commitment to you, and you should honor your vows by trying to fix this before it's a runaway train.
What do you get from an online affair? Write them down and then tell us what he provides that you and your H can't do together?
Have you ever been in C before? I highly recommend it. I ended up doing a year stint to figure out why I was so miserable. Almost all of it was ME related and not about my H.
My goal isn't to bring you down, hon. But this is not the answer.
Don't let fear drive you away from doing the right thing. Saving your marriage IS the right thing, C&S. No judgment here... just help.
I'll check back soon.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
