Quote: On the other hand, I cannot remind you strongly enough how important it is for you to focus on the fact that your H is HOME and has said HE IS COMMITTED TO YOU. FOCUS ON THIS! What you focus your attention on will expand. How would you treat him if you knew without a doubt that he will never stray again? What would you be doing?
Yes, I'm constantly having to remind myself that there are many positives here. For the most part, we do get on with 'normal' life, and I think that helps me stay relatively calm. We are in the midst of moving house, organising a fairly large housewarming party, and then tackle the task of selling our flat. We both carve out MUCH more time in the day to just be together. Lunch during working days - never did that before!
The thing I do need to do, and I notice when I'm upbest, so is he, is to STOP dwelling on the affair. This is so tough, it is like a scab that just invites a worrying finger, you KNOW it will heal better if left alone, but oh the urge just to peek.... This is my problem right now, and of course I process this internally, but it does effect my mood and NG picks up on it. The past few months, I've just tried to keep so busy I've not had time to dwell. But guys, I'm tired. And I think I'm ready for some long overdue mourning. I just need to work through this phase.
Quote: And the all time kicker..........any MYSTERY lately?
I do think of this, but my reading of him is that he would feel very uncomfortable. He sees himself as being very restrained, no meetings with OW at all. He calls me at all times of the day, on some pretext, but I know it is to reassure me of where he is, or more where he is NOT. If I get mysterious, he will feel unsafe, and may begin to question his 'restraint' with OW. Dunno, just my thinking. May need to re-evaluate next week, or whenever I feel more energetic.
Oh yes, he knows exactly what he needs to do to calm me down
