Why did he take up with OW? He says because he saw something in her softness that was appealing. But that he always intended it to be a narrow relationship. That he made it clear from the negining that he and I will always be together
What made him decide to be with me? After a while, OW's indecisions, chatter, lack of focus, (all the things he had previously labelled as 'softness') got to him. BUT, he is still in contact with her to make sure the ending does not 'damage' her.
To be honest, the first question is now not relevant to me. I'm convinced it is something he will have to look at when he is ready, and that may take a few years
The one about what he likes in me, well, the boy is in for some surprises, because I am changing me. Let's see if he still likes the evolving model
