Quote:


As for the wedding - do you have any friends or family with a nice back yard? (Or does your new apartment complex have a community room?) I think, with BF's history of wishy-washiness, that getting married and making that commitment in front of friends and family is really important.



Hi Ellie!

There were a couple of ideas we've thought about - one of them that I thought of yesterday was to find a place (maybe a park) for the wedding, and have a small reception at the new apartment complex community room (or whatever they call it). The room is small, about 50 maybe could fit inside - so enough for immediate family and a handful of friends. Maybe we could even do the wedding there.

Another option, another family member lives on the beach. She has a small backyard, maybe 100 or more though could be there if standing in the backyard. I don't know exactly how many - but I'd expect the vows wouldn't take long at all (no candle lighting, no music, etc.). There is a church across the street that has a reception hall that can fit 150 or more, and they have tables and such. So if we want a larger wedding, we can do that.

I'd expect to go to Costco and Sams to get cheese cubes and other finger food items. Then...if it is a larger wedding, we'd probably go out and get barbecue food or something catered. If it is smaller, I think it'd be nice to maybe do actual barbecuing - or get pizza and other items, lasagne sounds good (I do a great lasagne, and with 50 people, I'd only need to make 3 or 4 large platters of it). With a smaller group, it's a lot easier.

We were talking about even having wedding cupcakes, and having them on platforms (like a cake normally is). Then I could also get a small cake, and a few other desserts.

With a smaller wedding, it'd be nice and intimate - not that 50 is tiny, it's still work. But it'd be a good hanging-out type crowd. With 100-150, they'd all be expecting maybe more of the typical wedding stuff.

Oh - and a relative of BF's does wedding flowers and such, someone mentioned that. I'd expect she'd charge a fair bit, I personally thought I could just go to Sams or Costco, and get a couple of dozen roses ($12.99) and put them in little vases. That would be a lot less expensive. I could get some flowers there for me too. I love simplicity, and I did the big wedding 20 years ago (well, it wasn't THAT big - but it was a church wedding and such, though we did have a park reception). We had about 80 people, around 60 didn't show up. I'm thinking that if we invite a lot of co-workers and such, they may not show up even if they say so - while family members WILL be there.

So that is where I am as far as thinking. I think the smaller party would be better in some ways, and maybe then invite more casual friends over to a housewarming/holiday party a couple of weeks later.

I don't expect BF to get heavily involved in details. Mostly, I just need him and his family to nail something down (he and his mom, mostly). If we have a wedding in front of everyone, then mostly it will be his family - so that is important to me to get that input. But I refuse to do a fancy wedding - especially as BF does not want one. It isn't worth the stress. I found that dress a month or so back that I loved, with the white on top and black on bottom - his mom said maybe I should look for a white dress (no, I don't plan to). Once I start being formal in one way, it is a slippery slope to fancy in others. I want everyone to be able to come in jeans or whatever they are comfortable in. I don't need BF in a tux, he can wear whatever as well (I'd probably prefer him to wear jeans/slacks and a nice sweater). But he can do what he wants.

Anyway - so you can see, I've been thinking a lot. Thank you for more things to think about. I'm still a bit concerned if he decides he doesn't really want to travel anywhere with me. I have told him this is important, and it REALLY can upset me that he did go with ex-OW and they were talking about going other places. Grrrr. We don't plan a honeymoon per se, his friend is getting married around the time we are thinking about it in Mexico - if we don't go, I'm going to try to get BF to go visit the area they live in (in CA) and have a nice trip with maybe Vegas. So, we'll see.