This is off topic but the ring discussion reminded me of a funny incident with my own engagement ring. Several years ago my ring needed resetting and local jeweler was having a resetting sale. So I went on Sat while H was working overtime The salesman kept bugging me about getting a more expensive setting with additional baguettes, while I wanted a plain one like the original. He kept egging me on with smart comments like 'your H won't let you spend the money', yada, yada. Finally, I said pretty emphatically, 'My H would say I can have whatever I want, but that's not the point - I don't want to spend that much money.' Another jeweler standing nearby said 'Are there any more at home like you?'
Quote: Another jeweler standing nearby said 'Are there any more at home like you?'
That is a great story!!!!
I would say that a lot of guys would say the same about me and the type of ring I'll be getting. I'm just going to be happy to have something on my finger - and while BF could afford to buy a much more expensive ring, I don't want one.
Kind of like when I found a beautiful dress that I may use as my wedding dress (or I could use it for any other fancy occasion). I fell completely in love with it, and it was on clearance - for $14.95! It had been at this outlet store starting at $109.00 or so and then kept getting marked down. Tailoring will cost a lot more!
dfb - yes, I have a wedding band, just no engagement ring. H and I have plain gold bands with various symbols carved into them - we designed them ourselves (mostly H's idea). And of course, now I have a Hawaiian gold band on my other hnd from our 20th anniversary
I have a girlfriend whose engagement ring was her H's boy scout ring - they set a diamong into it and designed a nice band to fit with it.
Of course, after being on these boards, I now see the wisdom of getting a huge rock one could pawn when the bum takes off in MLC!
First off, I can't figure out how to start a new thread - what am I doing wrong?
Secondly, not sure where to turn with my situation, really need some advice! To sum it up I'm 40 yrs old. Had a baby last August - husband left when baby was 7 weeks old. Moved in with another woman, one who is more suitable to his needs. I'm completely distraught - as I'm sure alot of you are. Our divorce should have been final a few weeks ago, but he approached me about possible reconciliation - something I have been asking for since he left. Said he's not completely convinced he's doing the right thing. Since that time, he moved in with his parents for a few weeks and we attended one counseling session, which got us nowhere. He keeps living in the past. I told him I want to work on the marriage, and am willing to give whatever it takes to make it work. His problem with me is that I'm too controlling, and I didn't give him enough attention. He says he still loves me but now resents me for the way I treated him for the past 20 years. About a week ago, he went back to this other woman, and says he still doesn't know what he wants, and he may never know (translation?) He has anxiety attacks when he is around me, and I keep finding myself falling in the trap of BEGGING him to come home, and telling him how hurt I am. I now know this is wrong, but I think it's too late... We have a court date on September 15th (4 days before our anniversary) for our divorce to be final. Not sure how to approach this now. I think after the other night he will probably keep his distance from me. Any suggestions? He told me he would come home if he could be convinced I can change, but all he knows is what happened in the past, and doesn't want to risk being unhappy again... I keep telling him there's no way to prove it except to give it a chance, but he won't listen - his logic keeps telling him to look at what's already happened - (history repeats)... How can I get through to him, and being that we only have a few more weeks of actually being married, I'm not sure I can... Lynne
I am sorry about your situation, hopefully you can get everything worked out. To post on your own thread (where more people will see it), all you have to do is to go to a topic - I'd suggest Newcomers first - and hit "post". Just copy/paste the post you made.
You do need to stop begging him to do anything - that will just drive him away. If you do get D, that doesn't mean you can't get M again. It is really important to do what you can to make changes in you. It took me a heck of a lot longer than 3 weeks, but you can at least get started. This would not just be for your M, but for you and your baby first and foremost.
I have a girlfriend whose engagement ring was her H's boy scout ring - they set a diamong into it and designed a nice band to fit with it.
Of course, after being on these boards, I now see the wisdom of getting a huge rock one could pawn when the bum takes off in MLC!
Ellie
Ellie - I was definitely meaning about an engagement ring, I'm surprised he hasn't bought you one during your M. But not everyone needs a diamond (except, as you said, to pawn later if needed for a lawyer or a place to live!)
