Rob - thanks, I know people are reading my threads but I've had a number of them tell me that I'm doing fine on my own and they had nothing to offer to me. So I guess that is a good thing!

I will now start saying BF instead of ex-b. That is going to take some getting used to. This weekend was really nice - we went shooting, watched TV, he brought me down to where he works (he needed to get some work done), and showed me where the apt. we plan to live in is (only a 5 or less minute walk from his work). We also filled out applications. While he was working, I walked to the movie theater and saw Dodgeball (very politically incorrect, but funny!) If we were approved for the apt. and lived there, I'd be very happy with the choice.

We did talk about ex-OW....a fairly long one. He gave me a couple of items of hers that were in the kitchen cupboard (a mug and a glass) to throw out. I don't want to get too much into anything here - but he's been pretty consistant that nothing much happened with ex-OW (as far as ML, etc.) and I believe him. I had told him if he had any pics that were revealing, that I'd appreciate if he deleted them. He said that their R just didn't turn out in that way, she wasn't like me in that regard at all. A few weeks ago he called their R (in that way) "weird". I guess it was more emotional and affectionate than really physical. I am guessing she wanted to live here and such, but wasn't wanting him per se'. That is what I felt all along, though.

So....we are still talking M. I have no idea yet where or when, but I am pretty adamant that I don't want to live together for any length of time without a ring again. Meaning...maybe a few weeks, a month - but if we are going to get M, it has to be this year. The apt....if we move there, would be ready to move into in two months.

I also want to make sure this is what he really wants. He asked me a couple of questions...like if I was glad to be leaving my current apt. Well, not really. I like it here. I will be very glad if BF and I are together and happy - but I can honestly say that I'm pretty content with my roommate situation. I am more worried that I'll let roomate know that I'm leaving, and then BF will change his mind! Then I might have to find a new place altogether.

He also said that he wanted to be able to make me feel good about myself. I said that I can't depend on him for that. I already feel good about myself - I do love him, but last year was awful - and I'm not going to base my happiness or self-esteem on how he acts towards me. My happiness and such can be enhanced - I love him a lot. But my self-worth is not going to be based on him.

While we were talking about ex-OW, BF said that I was a much stronger person than I had been. He also said - after I said that I still wish ex-OW thing hadn't happened, that it's possible that we wouldn't be where we are now otherwise. NOT that it was a good thing it happened - but last year did strengthen me a LOT. I changed as a person. So he may be right.

I've been trying to figure out what we may do for a wedding, or honeymoon, etc. I think it still would be nicer to have family here for that, and we had talked about Paris at some point this year. But we may not be able to do Vegas also, I just don't know. There are so many wonderful places - and we already have to go out of town at least a couple of times this year for weddings (if we are together). I would love to go back to Paris though.

Anyway - I need to get some work done. I hope everyone had a great weekend.