Quote: Now that's some interesting progress! Keeping my fingers crossed.
Rob
Rob - I didn't realize that was you for a second, your name changed a while back and you don't post much. Thank you for visiting my thread.
Ex-b called twice today - on his way to work and on his way home. When he was getting off the phone this evening, he said "just remember, 3 more days". He knows I want to go home now! (It's really 3 days from tomorrow). And I waited to see if he'd say he loved me first (I don't want to pressure him) and he did. I've already got several pieces of clothing in my suitcase, I can't wait until they are all in and I'm ready to go. I can't think of anything better right now then being on the couch with ex-b, playing video games and having cinnamon rolls.
Something did crop up a bit today. He and some co-workers went to a hobby place...something I don't think he's ever thought about. And then later, he comes online and says he thinks he might get a license in it! The cost would start at about $500.00. I was like...it's your money, but you might want to just sit on it a bit and see for sure it's something you want to do. We have VERY different money styles. He makes a good income, he doesn't yet save anything...and will not think twice about spending a fair bit of money on things at the drop of a hat. He's very much like my dad in that regard. Myself...I went back and forth all day before shopping on whether to buy myself some Mikes Hard Lemon the other day. I think through nearly any purchase that is non-essential, no matter how small.
He would be making the bulk of the income...it's hard if we got married thinking I'd have any right to say how it was spent. I don't want to be a nag...I was so concerned today that my saying that I thought he should wait would bother him. It didn't, but he is pretty independent and it's something that isn't likely going to change.
It's harder I think to balance stuff like that when you get married older (as opposed to starting off when you are 20 and have nothing anyway).
Again, getting ahead of myself. I have no idea what we are, or what we are doing. But marriage needs to be thought of not just in a romantic way, but a practical one.
It is weird hearing him say "I love you". It almost seems like we should have a new phrase...this isn't the same as when we first met and were all horny and cared about each other. This is two people who went through that, stayed together 3 years, split with ex-OW in picture, became close again and are hopefully reconciling. "I love you" sounds so...small compared to all of that. I don't know if anyone understands. And I don't mean the wonderful in-person deeply felt I-love-you's, I mean the ones that you say on the phone when you are hanging up, etc. I guess it just doesn't convey the depth of all we've been through. Does that make sense?
I never did stop saying "I love you", but I always have said it quick, under my breath as in "haveagoodnightiloveyoubye". And I used ILY on IM as part of my signing off for the evening. Not pressuring him, not declaring my lifelong love, but it wasn't something I felt okay to stop saying.
It's also weird just feeling like we are sort of starting over, but we've known each other for 4 1/2 years. We can't really go through the honeymoon phase anymore (thank goodness), we know each other too well. It's like a really great friendship with ML, and fun, and caring and conversation and stuff thrown in. I like that.
