For those who don't know me...I got here last March (2003), I'm so glad I did. I'd lived with my ex-b for over 2 years, together over 3...and I wasn't ready last year to let go. He had an OW briefly, and we've gotten closer ever since that ended.
A few months ago he seemed to have no hope of us being together, and said he was uncomfortable with me wanting to ML, etc. Yet he still called me everyday, still initiated some, etc. etc. He wasn't spending lots of time with me, but occasionally he'd surprise me. What we did spend together was fun.
Then about 2 1/2 months ago we started spending tons of time together. He was initiating even more, I have been spending nights with him more, etc. And the last few weeks have been great. The last time I'd seen him, he'd asked for a hug - today he did the same, that was really unusual for him.
I'm going out of town in the morning, and staying overnight with him...we had a really nice evening. Then when we were getting ready to go to sleep, I had one earplug in (I misplaced the other) and I heard something that sounded like "I love you". Mind you, I haven't heard that since October 2002. I unplugged my ear and was like "what did you say?" He repeated it. He then went on to say how he'd been thinking about this a long time (which I'm glad about), and apologized for the way he'd treated me last year. He said that if I'd stuck around through all that, I'd probably not be going anywhere (i.e. - that I would be committed to him through nearly anything). He listed other things that we enjoy doing together.
We ML, said I love you a few times.. What suprised me before he said ILY...he had held me in such a way that he could stroke my face, my neck, etc. He NEVER does that, and he held me really tightly.
The subject of Vegas came up...and he asked if we went, might I want to marry there. We both said we'd have to talk all this through. I love him dearly, but I'm not wanting to rush anything quite yet. And he could change his mind at any time.
But he told me he loved me and meant it, and that is enough for me.
I am so tired, it's 3:30 here and I haven't been able to sleep. I got some really nice, genuine kisses too.
Whether this works out for the long run...I'm very glad that I handled the situation (after the letter writing and pleading) in a fairly classy way. I have had recurring thoughts lately of ex-OW and how I could have broken them up before anything started...but I'd likely not be where I am now if I had.
The cool thing is...if he changed his mind in the morning, I'd be okay. I am pretty damn happy now. He is planning to move about a half hour away (about an hour away from me), or at least is talking about it...and he mentioned my going with him. So we'll see.
And either I'll piece with him, or I'm pretty well pieced without.
Oh...and I'm glad I didn't mention what I found out about him and ex-OW (that he was trying to get her in the country last May). It's over a year ago, I have to remember that.
Night everyone. It's nice to actually move SOMEWHERE else on the board. And this is the best place!
Wow DFB!! What a great surprise. They say the best ones come when you least expect it.
I have followed your threads - nothing to add or offer because you are doing so great on your own. But, Just wanted to say congrats. Hopefully everything works out with ex-B but like you said, if it didn't, you would be just fine!
Maybe it was that pink blouse that did it? (Everybody - dfb sends me a picture of herself - we're dieting buddies - and she's wearing the exact same pink blouse that I have - how odd is that?).
And the getting married in Vegas thing - how sweet. I don't know if I'd do it, though. This guy has been such an avoider - I'd want to see him stand up in front of ALL your friends and family and make that commitment. Doesn't mean you have to have a bridezilla wedding (I know you wouldn't) - a simple backyard ceremony will do - but to my mind, there's something important about making that commitment in front of everyone you know. Plus I don't blame you for wanting to take a little time to see if his changes are for real!
Maybe you can even get him to start working out with you
(Hmmm...can you get married in a black leather miniskirt? )
I am so happy for you...keep up the DB and it will become a way of life...I know you will find much happiness!
Warmly,
~~Janehiswife~~
"Who in the world do you run to when the only person in the world who can stop your tears, is the one who made you cry?"
~Author Unknown
dfb, that is such great news!!! You've really prevailed through some difficult situations. The ML, ILYs, face touching, etc sound so very sweet. I'm so happy for you.
It did me good to read this post. I can't remember the last time my h told me he loved me. It's been maybe a year and a half? I don't even know. Now we have been sep for over 5 months and he has gone so far as to say it is over (as far as he is concerned) during a couple of c sessions we had. I quit pushing, trying to get him to go to c, trying to talk about r. So neither one of is has talked about div or anything. I have fantasies about his telling me that he loves me again and how he is sorry for the past year and a half. But I know that may be a long time in coming....if ever. But as long as I do not give up, keep DB and praying, I am like you....I know that things will work out for the best and if it turns out that I have to use these hard lessons in my NEXT relationship...then that guy will be a lucky man and it will be my h's loss. Ha.
What suprised me before he said ILY...he had held me in such a way that he could stroke my face, my neck, etc. He NEVER does that, and he held me really tightly.
