For those who don't know me...I got here last March (2003), I'm so glad I did. I'd lived with my ex-b for over 2 years, together over 3...and I wasn't ready last year to let go. He had an OW briefly, and we've gotten closer ever since that ended.

A few months ago he seemed to have no hope of us being together, and said he was uncomfortable with me wanting to ML, etc. Yet he still called me everyday, still initiated some, etc. etc. He wasn't spending lots of time with me, but occasionally he'd surprise me. What we did spend together was fun.

Then about 2 1/2 months ago we started spending tons of time together. He was initiating even more, I have been spending nights with him more, etc. And the last few weeks have been great. The last time I'd seen him, he'd asked for a hug - today he did the same, that was really unusual for him.

I'm going out of town in the morning, and staying overnight with him...we had a really nice evening. Then when we were getting ready to go to sleep, I had one earplug in (I misplaced the other) and I heard something that sounded like "I love you". Mind you, I haven't heard that since October 2002. I unplugged my ear and was like "what did you say?" He repeated it. He then went on to say how he'd been thinking about this a long time (which I'm glad about), and apologized for the way he'd treated me last year. He said that if I'd stuck around through all that, I'd probably not be going anywhere (i.e. - that I would be committed to him through nearly anything). He listed other things that we enjoy doing together.

We ML, said I love you a few times.. What suprised me before he said ILY...he had held me in such a way that he could stroke my face, my neck, etc. He NEVER does that, and he held me really tightly.

The subject of Vegas came up...and he asked if we went, might I want to marry there. We both said we'd have to talk all this through. I love him dearly, but I'm not wanting to rush anything quite yet. And he could change his mind at any time.

But he told me he loved me and meant it, and that is enough for me.

I am so tired, it's 3:30 here and I haven't been able to sleep. I got some really nice, genuine kisses too.

Whether this works out for the long run...I'm very glad that I handled the situation (after the letter writing and pleading) in a fairly classy way. I have had recurring thoughts lately of ex-OW and how I could have broken them up before anything started...but I'd likely not be where I am now if I had.

The cool thing is...if he changed his mind in the morning, I'd be okay. I am pretty damn happy now. He is planning to move about a half hour away (about an hour away from me), or at least is talking about it...and he mentioned my going with him. So we'll see.

And either I'll piece with him, or I'm pretty well pieced without.

Thanks for reading. I'm so tired.