FWIW, In talking with my W a while ago, she told me that she was convinced that it was normal to stop having sex more than just a few times per year and she assumed that everyone else was like us. BUT, her very best friend from college happened to start talking about frequency and told my W that she was completely insane for thinking that way. Then my W "opened her eyes" and saw the signs that our neighbors and friends actually were having sex with some regularity. Back in Jan, she told me that one of her goals for the year was to increase the physical aspects of our relationship (which sounded promising but it would take an entire page to explain why I'm here...let's just say she didn't exactly mean what she said).
Get your situation up and let some of the sharpshooters on the board take a crack at it. This board has gotten progressively smarter in the past few months. You will see a lot of references to Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch. Lot's of the vocabulary we use come from this book. Unlike SSM which is a "practical approach" when both parties feel like there is a problem, PM gets very academic, theoretical, and focuses on solely on the partner who wants to change things in the relationship. The other partner doesn't have to read, do, or even be aware of anything. It has worked miracles for a few of us here. At the very least, it will calm your anxieties.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
