Paul, I wanted to comment on the "letter vs. talking" issue. I am a great advocate for my clients when I am talking in front of a judge. I can think on my feet, answer questions coherently, keep focused when they interrupt me, and generally get all my points made. When I am talking to my W about ML, however, I am like a deer in the headlights. I fumble, mumble, get off track, and generally do not make my points very well. I have tried to write her letters. These are literary masterpieces. They make the points logically and coherently. But when she reads them, all she sees is criticism, to which she reacts. And yes, writing letters or emails is definitely a wimpy way to make a point.
So what is the answer? I have often thought that I should stick with what works: stating my points with my written materials in front of me. It works with the judges, why not my W? That way, when the interruptions come, when she says something totally irrelevant, when she avoids answering a crucial question, I can go back to my "outline" and figure out what to do next.
I know this sounds very "formal" and perhaps somewhat obsessive, but I'm not sure what else to do.
