Paul...your story is sadly familiar. It was my story about three years ago. Now, in fact, just two weeks ago, I just had my first "session" with my W in 2004. Before that, it was September 2003 (I keep count, too).
My advice to you? Work hard on fixing things now because they will inevitably get worse if you don't. Read the SSM book. Ask your wife to read it. Get "Passionate Marriage" by Schnarch. Read it...it's not an easy read, but you must read it. Tell your wife that you will not live in a celibate marriage. Mean it.
Good luck...it's not an easy road that you are on.
