"I have to tell ya: I just don't GET this notion of waiting til the rest of your life slows down to have sex. I mean, isn't that going to be a loooooooong wait? How many people do you know who are retired and carefree at 37?!"
Wow, reading this paragraph was like a slap in the face. It describes my wife exactly, but I'd never really thought of it this way. She claims that she likes sex. She says she often really wants to have sex with me. And when we do have sex, she sure seems to enjoy it. Sounds good, right? Problem is, in the past 2 and a half years, we've done it a total of 15 times (yes, I keep count). I'll do the math for ya; that works out to exactly once every two months.
Now, if you really liked doing something, often thought about doing it, really enjoyed it when you did do it, and had the opportunity to do it virtually any day you wanted, how often would you do it? All the time, right? You'd never STOP doing it, right? Yeah, me too.
So, what's stopping us? Apparently, we're just too busy. There is always, and I do mean always, a higher priority. Granted, we are pretty busy. We both work (me full time, she half time), and have two little kids. It's not like we can just drop everything any time we want and make love like crazed weasels. But we can find time, if we try. Still, other priorities never end. Shopping, cleaning, working in the yard, watching TV, whatever.
Lately, I've been trying to make time for us on the weekend. Weekdays are hard, because, we have no time together until the kids are in bed, after which she is invariably too tired. Okay, fine. How about saturday afternoon, we get the grandparents to take the kids for a few hours (which they are more than happy to do). Usually, she says no, because she really has to get (fill in random semi-important activity) done. Sometimes she says yes, then finds some excuse later, before actually having to go through with it. Sometimes she says she doesn't want to lie to her parents, making up some excuse why they should take the kids (this seems crazy to me). Once, she told me she doesn't like having sex during the day. I'm not sure where that came from. Of the dozens of excuses I've heard, that might be my favorite. Soooooo, we can't do it at night, you don't like it during the day..... what's that leave, dusk?
Anyway, the weekend date plan hasn't worked, not once. So to sum up our sexual relationship: No week days. No weekends. Too tired at night. Can't do it in the day. Can you imagine how bad things would be if she didn't like sex so much??
I told her once that we have to make our relationship a priority, if we want it to be one. We'll always have other things to do, we'll always be busy, so we just have to make it a priority. She said she agreed. Nothing changed.
