J,
I do this too. Take a perfectly good experience and ruin it with some stinko thoughts.

Here are some alternative thoughts for you and I hope they reach you before C.

There is no denying the EC has been there STRONG for the last several days. Also it seems like he has been reaching maximum horniness and getting increasingly affectionate during those days too. So I really don't think he was doing this with some plan in mind. I think he had just been enjoying the good groove you guys had going on.

I don't know about your H, but mine is not manipulative. He is not a "plotter". I will sometimes ask him things that I have dreamed up in my mind and he will get this blank and confused look on his face and say, "What??"

Hey here is another story for you: Monday evening H came home and was happy (as usual) as was I. I told him that a person called for him from the newspaper and I told them XYZ. He freaked and started criticizing what I had said. I stayed pretty darn calm, if I do say so myself AND based on my past track record, and told him that if he was that concerned about it then he should have given his work #. Then we went on with our evening.

About an hour later he says, You know I am really amazed at how you handled yourself...you stayed calm even though I was really being an ass.
Then he launched into this whole discussion about the "whys" and of course focused on our faith and how it strengthens us, etc. Which it does. I listened to him and agreed with certain parts and left the room. Then I came back a while later and told him, "You know what. Here is the reason why I was better able to stay calm. Because we just had sex the night before and that softens SO many things. For both of us."

Without the EC having been strongly present for the last week, I probably wouldn't have said that. I have a tendency to stuff a lot of my true feelings and thoughts inside because they make HIM uncomfortable or, gasp, create pressure.

Last night was weird!!! He was....dare I say...almost FLIRTY with me. I think the EC is gettin to him. He was very affectionate and fun. My negative thoughts were this: He knows we're not having sex tonight (I had told him this the night before) so he feels free to be like this. But my positive thoughts were that he is just enjoying the good vibe between us lately and acting on it.

At bedtime, we snuggled up together and of course I couldn't keep my hands off his d*ck. It's funny...I used to get so upset and offended if I touched him and he wasn't hard. Now, I truly enjoy the feeling of his soft little guy in my fingers. He never did get hard and we drifted peacefully off to sleep. I had the feeling that I could have turned it sexual if I wanted and GUESS WHAT that knowledge was enough for me. Just knowing that he was open to it, even though he was dog tired and we are both coming down with colds, was great.

So let me know how you are feeling before counseling if you have a chance. Your night was awesome and I am jealous! Aggressive sex.......whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. All I got was a soft (but very attractive) penis to hold.

Honeypot

P.S. Hairdog, you KNOW I have to behave myself. Good grief, what would H say if he ever stumbled on this site? (he knows I visit here, does not check to see if I post) That would be the final nail in the ol marital coffin, if I was posting graphic details....which I'd love to do!