Hi Smiles, Thank you for the reply. I was rethinking last nite and I am seeing it a bit differently now, that it really was a step forward for us, in terms of differentiation( realizing that we are separate people). He was able to acknowledge my HD state and reach out to me, even though he is not feeling those feelings. I have to be willing to accept where he is at and not fill myself with anxiety that he is not attracted to me. It just doesn't help the situation at all. It seems that we are forever mismatched with each other...I wonder what it would be like if we both got it together at the same time and made the intimacy the #1 priority, but that is just not where he is at. Getting to a place of accepting our diffferences is a great thing though, and finding the right balance will take continued effort and negotiation. When you're the HD spouse, the "desirability" factor plays a number in your head, which is why I need to keep track of the ways that he is affectionate and loving. I need to work on patience and staying calm, allow him to be different from me, while asserting what I need( which I think he understands on some level). J
