Sunday... we are getting along well, no obvious tension. As I was getting in the car to go out, H spontaneously kissed my shoulder, told me I smelled nice, and leaned over and kissed my chest( recording "desire" epsiodes here). Sunday nite...I am in bed reading( erotic novel, hehe) and H comes into bed, I shut off light and he starts fondling/carressing me. I reciprocate, but he is not turned on, so I decide to enjoy the attention, which led to me coming. There was definitely a feeling of closeness and comfortability. But... I can't sleep now...I am having all these mixed feelings: although the whole thing was very giving of him, I am bothered by the fact he is not as excited physically as I am. Usually he hides this by withholding when he knows he isn't in a turned on mood, so actually this is a step forward for him in terms of sexual generosity and vulnerablity. But I am left with these self doubts about my attractiveness/ability to arouse him, even though last nite he started out more HD than I did. J
