Well, I am not having a good day( HP-- I know you asked how I was doing and I am posting here). Last night ended up being a short cuddle nite, which I was really fine with, esp since we have ML 2x this week already. However, something is going on with H. I think he feels this internal pressure to feel sexual with me, and because nothing happened last nite, he was very edgy with me this am. We got through the morning okay, but he stopped home during lunch( unusual for him) and was very provocative. I started to get upset, and stopped myself for two reasons: I wanted to "hold on" to myself and not do the fusion thing, and also because I didn't want him using my being upset as a way of having desire for me. When he was HD and I was LD, he did the emotional disconnect thing in order to function, and I am trying my best not to do the same thing but to work this out with him, but I am getting very frustrated. I have given up the fantasy that he will ever be into the sex/intimacy thing on the same level as I am, and I am realizing I am going to have to deal with his LD for a long time to come. How sad. For now, I am going to do my best to not be drawn into arguments with him and to keep to the goals I outlined yesterday. Until he is able to admit his low desire for me and work on it, rather than seeing me as the problem, we won't be able to have much movement. The trick for me will be not to get overly frustrated in the process and disconnect by becoming LD again. J
