Hi Everyone.... I have decided to start a new thread ( the previous ones were "taking a break" and "shutting down", which are way too passive for how I am feeling). Right now I am at a stage where I do see major changes, but the pull to go back to the old ways is very strong. It reminds me of when my son was in speech therapy; he couldn't do the "th" sound and a few others. When he finally "got it", he would then go back to his comfortable way of speaking. He would only speak correctly when reminded/corrected, even though he had the ability. He was in his comfort zone, and he had to decide that it was in his best interests to talk clearly. Right now H and I are in this "nice" place which feels strange and uncomfortable. There is a lot more harmony in the house and less tension. More spontaneous affection. Better sex. Yet, I am filled with all this anxiety and I am finding that negative thoughts creep in, old resentments and such, and I am finding it difficult to "hold on" to myself. I am also feeling that while we have made changes, I am not where I want to be, and I want to angry at him for not getting it. I am constantly using my brain to overcome my emotions, and my brain is tired of holding in the reptile. Journey---who feels like screaming today
