Well, Pen, I just have to give you a cyber hug for spilling the skeleton in your closet. I think you're brave and you know that I welcome you here on the joint thread (but am wondering where my trusty Friends are?).
I think it's really important to state that it is not our place to judge others. We all have our crosses to bear and unique hardships and joys. I'm sure you can be a person whose honesty will help personify the OW issue... that is, to learn to respect someone whose path is very different from our own.
For instance, one of my good DB buddies here is Triple J. The moment I read his first post in newcomers, I knew there was a compelling reason to keep heading back. He writes awfully well, and he's sure funny, but that wasn't known to me as we posted.
The fact is, he's a brother of Mr. Wonderful... the WAH who faced his own music shortly after moving out. In another place and time, I could have been the same person his W is: unhappy but not willing to address my own mission critical issues, blaming at times, playing the victim, etc. His W has her good points too, but the fact is, our paths could have been similar. And the fact is, I WISH Mr. Wonderful would have had the same epiphany after moving out that he did.
We spend a lot of time joking around and talking as friends, but the simple fact is that I can count on him to steer me when I get stuck... knowing that he has credible experience being where Mr. W. is. And I hope I offer the same value in return.
No, I don't have OW to contend with. I still want to reiterate that although Mr. W. didn't elect to find himself OW doesn't mean that it would have not been possible or even considered. The escape is the crux of this issue: the fact that they are looking elsewhere for something that they should be giving themselves.
Besides, we are not what we do... that is, our deeds by themselves do not make us the people we are. The fact that you are here says much.
I think I'll hold off on grabbing that chocolate bar--I have 7 lbs to goal and I couldn't be happier with that thought. I'll be dreaming about Reese's until that happens!
Tell us more when you're ready.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
