I haven't forgotten your challenge, and I'm up for it now. First things first - I grinned with barely suppressed glee while reading about your encounter with Mr W and the sleeveless top. As I may have said before, our souls may belong to the immortal, but our brains are part of the physical world, and I'm sure you flooded that poor man's insides with Oxytocin (the same hormone that makes you want to grab a chocolate bar. *grin*) Keep doing what you're doing, it seems to be working swimmingly.
As for me, I've been a bit hesitant about posting more of my personal story, which you'll understand as you read on. You see, I'm the incorporation of many DBers worst nightmare - a former OW who is now married to the man she had an affair with. While I make no excuses, I realize that my choices caused other people (his ex-wife and children) much pain. Although I never pressured him to leave in any way, in fact told him more than once quite truthfully that I understood profusely if he couldn't bring himself to do it, my mere existence of course factored in his choice. I do believe they were very ill-matched, that sooner or later it would have been someone else, and that his ex-wife discovered her interest in the marriage only after he had emotionally left it and wanted to leave physically, but the fact remains that he that he is now with me.
All of us now have an unusually cordial relationship, and his ex-wife, a kind-hearted soul, says she has forgiven me, although I'm sure she considers me the primary agent of the demise of her marriage. What helped was the intense desire we all had to make the transition as easy on the children as possible (all the while realizing it is never easy).
I don't regret the choices, but I will always regret the pain they caused. I came here on this board out of a need for atonement for that pain, and to learn exactly what it is an LBS is going through. Through reading a post of yours I figured I could use my time much more productively; and I figured that I owed others who were fighting for their marriage whatever little insight I had to help them succeed. Perhaps that will help with the need to do penance I still feel. And if not, it will still have been the right thing to do.
I know that you, Betsey, luckily don't have an OW to deal with in your situation, but many others do - and if any of them would like to ask questions, I'm game.
