Maya, H2H and GD, I appreciate the comments and various interpretations of them. Now I want you guys to remember that I prefaced that post with the fact that my hormones are out of whack. And I tend to get stuck when I'm in this part of my cycle.
I didn't have an issue with the "gift" aspect of Mr. W's surprise. It was the fact that he had D7, our arrangements have always been for me to have the girls unless our schedules have conflicts, and THEN we are supposed to discuss them. All it would have taken for me to have the aha moment was to find a note on the counter that said, "Bets, I have D7 for the night! Have a good time shopping or doing something you enjoy. Thanks for switching with me. Talk to you later, K."
I can promise you that I would have reacted VERY differently. I also mentioned that I told him my feelings were all about me... not that he had done something gravely wrong.
It reminded me of a night after college when I came home to my parents' house (I lived there), and found a completely set table with food on plates and chairs back away from the table, the front door wide open (in Northern VA! With a cop for a dad! Unspeakable!) and nobody there.
I knew right then that something was wrong (story for another day, and it was not happy).
Thursday night just smacked of that. Not to mention that D7 is due for a big seizure (which lands her in the hospital). He agreed yesterday that had he been in my shoes, he would have noticed her overnight bag gone with all her meds and ASSumed I had to take an emergency trip to the ER.
Nothing with D7 is ever simple or straight forward!
On to last night... it was really good. I'll thank the memory of a conversation containing free advice from my grandmother last summer (which I posted in H2H's thread). Basically, she reminded me that nobody belongs to me, nobody owns me and that I have free will to love as I choose and not to ask God for any more than that.
It helped me just really lighten up and have fun. And that, we did.
We had dinner together and really enjoyed just catching up. His phone rang and it was the person who is designing our golf tournament brochure, with questions. He posed a few of them to me for input and told the lady, "Yes, she's sitting across from me." The lady must have said something along the lines of "OH!" because I saw him grin while he answered her... along the lines of being glad that I was there even if just for good timing.
We headed to the theater and took turns holding D7. Before it started, he commented, "It's been at least 2 years since I saw a movie in a theater. How about you?" I said, "No, it's something the girls and I do fairly often. Which is how I know what to expect from D7."
He looked at me funny and said, "Well, if I miss the movie again, I'm not going to be happy."
Ouch. Resentment still there. This is a lingering memory for him and he hasn't let go. I opted for validation.
Me: "K, if she acts up, I'll take her out. Okay?"
The movie was great, D7 was perfectly behaved and attentive and at the end, we stood up and he said with a slight frown, "Hmmmmm. She WAS really good." He then smiled and gave her a hug and told her how proud he was of her. We all clapped and left. (D7 loves approval.)
One other item of note. I could feel him really looking at me during the movie. Don't know what he was thinking, but it happened quite a few times. We discussed the movie and the books on the way to our trucks (yes, we're a truck kind of family). He strapped D7 into the seat and put her stuff in mine and hopped in his as we waved back and forth. I saw him just sitting there looking at us, with an unidentifiable expression on his face. We left.
Oh, and we did discuss camping. I asked him if he would plan a trip for a time after D10 gets home. He asked what I had in mind and I commented the weekend of the 4th of July. Well, that got nixed because he has to work. The weekend before he asked me to take the girls because he's going to GARY's birthday party. We'll see.
At any rate, he mentioned finding a good weekend to schedule it, and it was very clear that I was going with the family. He seemed to have no trouble with that concept.
Now, I have to chase D7 on her scooter and get ready for my reading at mass later on today.
Thanks for the great comments!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
