Hmmmm, when I read your post & then Maya's, I thought it's interesting how we all interpret things. Of course the context is important; sometimes it's everything.
However, my initial reaction to Mr. W's surprise was that it was a lovely gesture, perhaps a bit weak on the details. At the very least, leaving a note would have been nice so you didn't have to worry when you returned to an empty home. (I would have worried that something happened).
Indeed it would have been 'nicer' to know earlier to plan for your time off. But something bugs me about this thought - isn't that trying to control what & how he gives you something? He decided to give you the night off, and you tell him he should have given you advance warning to take advantage of having more time off by getting an earlier notice. If he decided to give you a red sweater, would you question the hidden motive, or be upset that you preferred a blue one, or a skirt instead? Isn't this where people say it's the thought that counts?
In the end, because of the context you're in, the discussion of control and your apologies (both of you) turned out just fine. But if I were in his shoes I think I'd walk away with the thought that I had better not plan any more surprises because she doesn't like them, she questions my motives, I always screw it up (can't do them like she wants me to do them), and everything I do ends up in a discussion.
Unlike Maya, I really didn't see his gesture as a control issue - just a nice surprise, a bit sloppy in execution but only because it involves your D7 & your potential worry. I think the sitch we're all in keeps us in high alert status looking, interpreting & analyzing everything (I am VERY guilty of this!) and in doing so, we often miss the oppty to enjoy simple straight forward 'gifts'.
Anyways, I hope the dinner & movie went well and I look forward to reading about the evening.
