I must admit that my control issues run so high that I had a difficult time figuring out why you had apologized at all. So I went and reread a few times.
You did very well containing yourself and NOT being as reactive, as you say you would have in the past.
That's a great thing. It is ESPECIALLY great that you contained your reaction, in my mind, because you had every right to OVERreact. Your H may have intended a sweet surprise for you and yet, his actions were somewhat presumptuous, weren't they? And, I think, he exercised a fair amount of control.
Taking D7 without your prior understanding and mutual consent...offering you the evening off, without KNOWing whether or not this might be what you had wanted and, "granting" you time off without giving you any real time or choice to plan something special for yourself. It could be hubris.
Now I don't put this view forward in order to stir up negative emotions. I put it forward to have you consider that all the control issues are not yours alone, that your apology though accepted, may not have been necessary AND...now this is the big one, you deserve a BIG OVATION, for holding onto yourself in the face of all of the above. YOU CHOSE a path that would bring you closer rather than choosing a path that would highlight how "right"you are.
The ovation is louder and longer considering the fact that your responses came on the heels of a rather frustrating day.
Grab yourself a glass of wine, some bubbles and....maybe a sexy masseur (ok that's MY fantasy) and give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done.
