Friends: Season 5--New perspectives

[Underdog]

UGH! What a frustrating day! Full of computer snafus, which I later found out were due to Messenger and Hotmail. I must have rebooted my PC a thousand times. Still no access to either. Is anyone else having trouble getting in? My entire office is unable to get in...

Joanne, as much as I tried, I didn't find something that seemed to look good. Everything I tried on felt as if I was a 42 year old attempting to be 22. So I bought clothes that are sporty and youthful and me. That's who I am now anyway.

I'll journal some stuff that happened last night and through today. Before I do, a big hug to my DB buddy, Triple J, for being available to counsel me back to normalcy last night. I wasn't too far gone, but even I recognize that I get stuck sometimes. And today, Mr. Wonderful and I managed to do a recap and a plan for the next time.

So here goes:

I got home to an empty house... very unexpectedly. Normally, I come home from the gym to find all my loved ones doing various activities. I decided to make myself some dinner and there was no sign of Mr. W. or D7, so I called his cell. He told me he was at the apartment, eating dinner with D7 and that he was giving me the night off to do whatever I wanted.

Hormonal me didn't take this really well. Though I didn't act out like I would have a year ago, I asked him what this was all about? He seemed genuinely surprised at my dismay and said honestly it wasn't about anything other than the fact that he had received a boon by me taking D7 tonight (Friday) on a night that was his.

I asked him if he wanted to rework the schedule a bit so that he could see the girls more this summer, and he said he hadn't thought about it, but that it sounded okay. We exchanged a few more pleasantries before hanging up.

I mulled things over for about 15 minutes and called him back. I asked him if we could talk through this stuff and he said sure. I told him before I started that my feelings were "ME" oriented and not about him. That seemed to help keep him focused and not on the defensive.

I told him I just was feeling bad about not having D7. He reminded me that this was just a gift and told me to go out and go shopping or something. I commented, "I wish you had called me earlier so I could have jumped on the chance sooner." He replied, "I'm sorry. I really didn't think it was going to bug you."

So we chatted about CONTROL and other things related to that theme and hung up. THEN I went shopping!

This morning, he called me in a very chipper mood and began the convo with, "HI BETS! Are we still on for Harry Potter tonight?" We discussed the details about that, and he said, "If you spring for the movie tix, I'll buy dinner." And off we went with the plans.

I decided to segue into an apology. I said, "K, I'm sorry about my runaway feelings last night. All I can say is that my control issues are based in fear. I don't handle change very well, and I know it was sort of unreasonable for me to suspect a hidden motive when I know full well you don't have one. Please forgive me?"

He said, "Of course. I guess I didn't realize how it might look from your perspective. I definitely should have called to tell you I was planning on keeping her, and left you a note on the counter too. I'm sorry too."

I accepted his apology and let him know that I'm having a really difficult time maneuvering through my hormone fluctuations, and that even I find this frustrating. He started to laugh and just kept things light.

So we're meeting at the designated restaurant before hitting the movies. I'll let ya'll know what happens with this event later on.

Until then.... have a great Friday!

Betsey