Friends: Season 5--New perspectives

[Underdog]

Good morning friends!

I must say first that I am blessed to have all of you reading and responding. I appreciate ALL (and I mean ALL) of the feedback I'm receiving. Over night, I was able to digest more of this and some of what you guys addressed was processed.

H2H, your comment about me doing the labeling and initiating this stuff was something I noticed too. I don't like it. At all. But since I'm the one who needs resolution, I really don't mind being stuck in the role too much because I do want some closure on this stuff.

Pam, you said:

It's not the timing, it is the fact that they have to deal with things that they don't want to deal with.

Bingo. I've got some thought on this, which I'll share below.

Pen, you are undoubtedly one of the most insightful women. I've been doing more of the vulnerability thing, and he's not hurting me, so I've been more comfortable exposing myself. However, you really hit a nerve on the comment about letting him save the family. I'm gonna pose some more questions here so I can process this more.

Myrrh, as always, you've given me something new to think about. A different spin on this sitch, and I think I really needed to hear what you had to say to help me.

Uh, Part 2 is coming SOON. Since we know that's typical Mr. W. and very vague, he shared with me that he's working on this part right now.

Okay, here are my thoughts. Just let me preface this with something. They are not how I feel ALL the time. But I'm finding them a little more present now as time marches on.

I have been thinking for the past 5-6 months that it's going to take me to file for him to really kick into gear. He might not do it at all either. Which is why I haven't taken that route before--because I wasn't sure if I wanted to take that risk.

However, I've also been increasingly feeling that I don't want this broken shell of a man who doesn't want to get rid of his baggage so he can live a happy life. I really don't know if he has what it takes to do this work.

So although you know I will ultimately do what is best for me and the girls, I want some opinions. Give me some alternative ideas on how to move past my current line of thinking. I still realize I might have to file to put myself in a better place. But I want good, concrete things to try doing before I do that. Please, don't tell me to be patient and give him more time. I realize that I have it, but the fact is ever clear now that Mr. Wonderful is NOT inspired by the clock and calendar alone to think about this stuff. There must be a catalyst, and that has typically been me in some way, shape or form.

I'm willing to entertain just about everything. I don't want to hear the ones that have to do with sex either! Having sex with a weirdo is not an option for me.

Bets