Pen, Thanks for the post. I think I have mentioned that I have been accused of thinking too "black and white." So, your perspective was important for me to see.
See, I see a lack of control as a lack of control. I never really stop to think that it could be masking something else. Good point on the withholding the answer for control reasons. I guess that since he has given up control in so many other areas it was hard for me to even consider that he would exercise some at any point.
I have an acauaintence that was actually turned away from counseling because her H refused to go, and the T told her that she was in the process of surpassing him and then there would be no turning back. Now, personally, I thought this was a crummy approach (stopping the therapy), but there is a certain truth to one person growing and the other person not. I guess though, that it just makes it easier to eventully move on.
