Quote: There are so many posts here that I can relate too, but can't go on every thread. I'll try to address some of the issues and struggles as I see them - but do it here. Okay?
More than OK It is rejuvenating to hear how life is like post successful reconciliation, and we appreciate the updates!
This article is about couples that remarry - each other. It talks about what drew them back to each other - people admit their mistakes in thinking that changing their mate made them happy. I can soooo relate to that one - I tried telling my H that when he moved out, but it was something he had to discover on his own.
Lucky for me, he discovered it relatively quickly compared to some of the other WAS on this BB.
I'd say that the biggest stumbling block in our new R is that I am hesitant to being vulnerable again. I know I have to be in order to fully engage in the R, but it is tough. I have this nagging voice in my head that I shouldn't do it so I won't get hurt again.
For the most part though, things are good. We tend to talk about a variety of topics - conversing had gone by the wayside as things deteriorated. We try to discuss things when we don't agree - we were good at avoidance before.
So we while we both learned from the past mistakes, we still have a long way to go.
I do lurk on familiar threads, but if someone wants some insights, please drop me a line and I'll see if I can provide any perspective.
My H and I are still piecing, but maybe I'll convince JJ to start a forum for those of us who successfully reunited with our WAS but don't post as often any more. It would make it easier for those looking for a lift to find us. I had to really dig to find this thread.
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
Thanks for coming back to update us. It is quite important to us here to know that couples get back together long term, and that reconciliations are not just flashes in the pan, or temporary fixes for loneliness, confusion, whatever.
And we need to know that 'getting back together' is not done and dusted in a couple of weeks, that the R takes continual maintenance. Any relationship, but especially a marriage, is like cultivating a gardern - it needs care, attention and maintenance! Nurturing too - that's a nice word.
I couldn't link to the article, it said, 'page not found'. Can you help?
As for your offer to help with insights, yes please!
Can you tell us anything that your H told you about how he saw things from his point of view - how he came to see that coming back to you was best, why, and how difficult it was. What did you do to make it possible for him - when he must have had to deal with issues such as losing face, admitting he was wrong, reversing stuff he told you at the time of the bombshell, fear that things would go back to the same old same old, etc etc.
Thanks.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
Hi totie, Have a few questions. my H and I are working on piecing. I was wondering if your H ever moved out? When you and H decided to be together did he still talk to OW? If so what did you do? ~inawe~ Would love to read article can't find thou
Glad things are going so well for you. I wanted to do an ice rink in the back yard this winter, but we didn't have the weather for it this year. H thinks I'm nuts, but after all this time he should be used to it.
It is rejuvenating to hear how life is like post successful reconciliation, and we appreciate the updates!
Slowly 
