Quote: I don't want to fall into old habits, but I don't know what old habits may have driven him away in the first place. But then, no R talks....AAARRGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
Oh DNO, you hit that one on the head! Sure I have some idea of what went wrong, SSM didn't help matters, but what other things led to his actions? I may never know.
TKKC1, I am glad you stopped by. I didn't mean to sound like I resented that my H didn't DB like me. After all, I read DB and DR as well as LL and other books. But I am a reader by nature. I gave my H DB and don't know if he read it. But obviously, somewhere along the line, he DB'd in his own way or he wouldn't be home.
I am not naive enough to think that I did this all by myself. After all, he had an EA and told her he wasn't interested in a PA and cut things off. That meant the things lined up just right for both of us at the same time - and moved forward from there.
We had a busy family weekend and another wonderful thing happened that further affirmed that my H is again the man that I love and married. We got a new lab puppy. I bought him one almost 16 years ago that we had to put down 3 years ago. That was another difficult factor in an already strained relationship. I don't think he grieved for that dog and maybe even had resentment toward me when we put him down, but he was 13 and his hips were bad and he couldn't do his business outside but would inside - and with a 10-month old crawling around, well you can imagine.
The kids have been asking for a new pup for a long time and he was insistant that we wouldn't get one. I would have gotten one back then so I left the decision up to him. We were at an outdoor event Saturday and ran into a trainer we know and he had pups with from his own dog. And we brought one home.
Now I just have to get used to getting up with a little one at night again. I do this part since working from home allows me to grab a nap if necessary and H has to be awake at the office. But since lab pups are so smart, he went from 11 to almost 6 already today! Yeah. So far only two nights of getting up and even then it wasn't until 3:30 or so.
The kids are so happy! H is happy! I am happy!
S3 is 4 today. We had family and friends over to celebrate on Sunday. I did much of the prep but when asked, H stepped in to do certain things - and he did all the grilling! In the past, I would have killed myself getting things ready and built up resentment in doing so - this time I asked for help and got it. I know - I was an idiot for not asking in the past! Don't have to hit me with that 2x4!
Well, off to get some work done on 1 of the 4 consulting projects I have going! Have to get my workspace more organized too. Found another organizing website (getorganizednow.com) with a great weekly newsletter that isn't quite as overwhelming as FlyLady. But I still use some of that too.
Thanks for all you support as always! I miss getting on here sometimes but usually lurk every day. I try to keep up with the regulars and offer some support to new folks.
Have a great day!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
