Totite, I am so sorry to hear about your H's aunt. He will need time to grieve the loss.
Thank you for posting the mundane parts of your R. You are right that DBing is geared towards getting the spouse home. But what do we do with them when they turn back towards us? Some of DBing still applies, but does it all? No R talks is the rule, but eventually some of these things have to be dealt with.
I don't want to fall into old habits, but I don't know what old habits may have driven him away in the first place. But then, no R talks....AAARRGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
I guess we just realized that marriage is work.
My biggest problem is learning to deal with my own insecurities--most of which I never had until my H left me and lived with OW. I have forgiven him, but as you say, forgetting is something else. I don't think that we will ever forget what happened--the trick is to not remind them of it all the time.
