Thanks for the well wishes! I'll say it again - I wouldn't be here were it not for this BB and learning about DBing.
My H was late in getting home last night so I called his office and he reminded me that it was "close" time so he had to stay until it was done. (Finance - accounting - it happens every month). I just said that I was worried when he wasn't here and hadn't mentioned working late.
He came home soon after that and I had dinner in the warmer for him. Made him shrimp sauted in garlic and butter (don't be fooled - it was out of a box from SAMs). But it was fabulous and a nice change from his usual steak. He is doing the Adkin's thing with great success. I couldn't do it because I need milk every day! Besides I can't eat all meat all the time!
Although I have cut down on bread. Plus I need chocolate every day too. My thirty pound loss was started with exercise, sped up with his leaving and kept off by watching how much I eat.
Anyway, my D9 and I were "Clean Sweeping" her room so we continued to work on that while he relaxed and watched a ball game (we won in 16 innings in innerleague play). Then I got the boys to bed and went myself. He came up and we chatted a bit and watched Leno, cuddled and went to sleep. Chatting and cuddling is nice and I have missed it - it had stopped long before he left.
We have a big weekend ahead of us - a birthday party for an friend of D9 tomorrow followed by a grad party for H's cousin's son - big family gathering. We had continued to do everything "family" together even when he wasn't living here - so it is not a big deal for us to go.
What is a bigger deal is how his demeanor around me when with other people - especially his friends and family. I'm not even sure he was aware of how he treated me - not verbally, but his body language and lack of bringing me into any conversations. I felt like I was an unwanted intruder on these occassions and it hurt my immensely as I am a very social person.
Right after he moved back, a good friend of his/ours stopped by and I stayed outside with them. He acknowledged my presence in a positive way, he let me feel part of and engage in the conversation. It felt wonderful.
That was one of the defining moments of his return - he couldn't fake that if he wanted to. And I am not even sure if he was aware of it before. But I knew that I had my H back then - the guy I fell in love with all those years ago - not the angry, bitter man he had become.
The Lord works in mysterious ways - and just a simple visit and conversation like that helped me know that we will truly build a new R together.
So while I wasn't testing his return or whatever you might call it - I was given a sign that may have been only apparent to me. Look for the small things - the things that may only have meaning to you. They can mean a lot in the grand scheme of things.
Have a great weekend. I'll be sure to check back if I get a chance.
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
