Mooka, Back to the apology thing for a moment if I may.....
Something I have come to find in the last few days of lurking on the board and reflecting.....
Sometimes we forget WE are NOT the ONLY ones who need healing.
The WAS also needs to feel reassured that they are still loved even and especially after their horrendous behaviour.
Yes, we still love them, even though it hurt.
Yes, we are going to stay with them and not abandon them, even though they might feel they don't deserve it.
Yes, we have changed but so have they...and we've noticed.
Yes, they lied but they can be trusted again....miraculous isn't it.
Please pardon, this is taken from someone else here on the boards: " I am not the only one in my marriage who yearns to heal and wonders how to forgive myself."
So maybe getting to "I'm sorry", seems like such an inadequate thing to get to...
Maybe they realize it's better to SHOW that the WAS is sorry by "DOING" things to show that they have changed and moved past the past. Just a thought'
