I do feel more in control of my life. I have not asked a question about his whearabouts in 2 months. I had not snooped in 7 wks but I slipped up. ! It feels good not to question him although I still wonder sometimes. I still do not know for sure if there is OW. Not knowing may be for the best!

For years I would say that I am going to dress more feminine. Well, I finally started and it feels so good. I wear skirts mosot of the time. I make sure that I shower get dressed and look good whether I am going out or not! I always smell good and it makes me feel good. The attention I get is nice also. I try to make sure that I get the proper amount of rest. I get up early. I try to go walking on a regular basis. I have to get better with that . I have began reconnecting with family members that I haven't been in contact with. I am going to start Yoga after work 2 days a week .

H has said that he was proud of me for somethings, but not many. He picks at my changes more than anything. He comments on any mistakes and then says I just want you to take care of yourself that I make and looks for reason to point out what I am doing wrong. I do notice that when he visits, he always wants to find something to talk to me about. I usually go upstairs or putter around the house doing errands. If it is early I go out. He usually comes at about 7 or 8 in the evening though. He will leave between 10-12.

I set boundaries 2 months ago. 1 of the boundaries was not to wash clothes at our house and he has eased his way back to doing it. I am going to let it go. I want him to feel comfy.

I am so confused about the ML issue. It seems that when we were Ml, we were more loose and less uptight. I will have to figure this 1 out. IC says if you can ML sometimes without getting clingy than go for it since 1 of his complaints was not enuff ML. IC also says that when H has complained about not enuff attention that it is important that you not make him feel by going dark that you have slipped back into not giving him attention. He said, don't be pursuing, but be warm loving ,friendly and accepting.

I get so upset with myself for not being more proactive. When H had an A 2 years ago, I should have seeked help but I didn't and now look at us. We are a mess !

Any thoughts? Nitaf