Exactly!!! Look, I'm in this right with you. I beat my H up for YEARS over his affair. I was mean and nasty and spiteful. One day he simply had enough. I know now that he hung in lots longer than he should have. He made a mistake...he shouldn't have had to live with hearing about it for as long as he did. He says now that if he had just left right then and not come back until we got through all of our issues we would not be in the boat we are in now.
I know how hard it is to try to step back to just be "friends" when you were once so much more than that. I am in the same situation. THANK GOD I now understand the importance of being friends. The easy thing would have been to say "fine...you don't love me? Then get out!"
But, I did YEARS of damage. So, being friends is the best start to repairing that. My impatience sometimes gets the best of me, and I get down. I understand that feeling of yours. Remind yourself that you need to slowly repair all of the damage. They are wary of us...waiting for us to explode. I have not had those behaviors in about 8 months now (not a hint of them), and my H still tells me that he has a hard time trusting that it is all "real." So, together, Nitaf, we'll keep plugging away at this. We'll cry on eachother's shoulders, o.k?
