I just want you to know that I got out of bed at 7 a.m this morning. I finished reading an ebook that I got on-line about how to get your spouse back. Then I switched over here to catch up on some threads. I read your caption about Grad school so I opened your thread and danged if you didn't lure me in. It's now 12:30 and I'm still sitting here. After several hours of reading your threads I had to skip thru to the "end" so I could post. Sheesh.
Here is my sitch...me 39, h 42, married 13 1/2 yrs, 1 d aged 11, sep since New Yr's eve. So in my effort to get on with my life and DB too I am also going back to grad school in the fall. I am going to get a master's in counseling of all things. I have been in so much pain this past year that I really want to reach out and help others feel better. Know what I mean? Of course, it sure would help if I could DB my marriage back together so I could have a real success story but either way, I am doing this for me.
I am so inspired by all the goals you set and how you documented all your baby steps. Considering the work you put into this BB you shouldn't have any trouble in grad school.
Right now my contact with h isn't that great. Yeah, I have to see him all the time because of d but he doesn't really contact me just for the sake of seeing or talking to me. I think I scared him off after the first few months doing all the wrong things...crying, begging, trying to reason. Then I started making changes which he liked but he didn't trust. He'd say things like he hoped I was doing it for me and not for him or why didn't I do this 10 yrs ago, like it's too late now. He's coming up with all his excuses for not coming back including his saying he "cares" about me but he won't say ILY. Funny, he won't say he DOESN'T love me either. He just says "when's the last time I told you ILY? See, there you go, there's your answer." I wonder if he really does love me and that's why he's unable to say "Look I don't love you any more."
Also, when he first left I talked about div. He said he wasnt' ready and we were "just taking a break" so I tried to get him back and then he ran (you know how they do when you show your love) so now I am doing nothing. I am not calling him except for d, I am not asking to talk about R (even though he always came over to talk about R when I asked him to in the past) and I am just getting on with doing stuff for me. I don't think he fears he will lose me and maybe right now he half wonders/hopes that he would lose me just so he could see how it feels. Who knows?
So anyway, so glad to hear you got your h back. It really does sound like you had to do a lot of work on him. I wonder if he would be willing to answer some WAS questions from us? Just so we could get his perspective?