I'm sure your class will be intense! My son just finished a 3 week "cram everything into your brain" class. I know all he could think about studying. Good luck!! You will do great!
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Husband was outside, mowing the yard...I think a positive result of the agitation he's undergoing while trying to quit smoking!
Spent Sunday with my parents while he was out with friends. Parents and I went and got my school books. Husband went and played golf and got himself a sunburn.
We also had an intense talk about touching/sex.
I was open and honest with him about my feelings. And he listened with respect and compassion.
I suggested the touching me technique that I've read about on the BB. Where the Low-drive spouse, hugs and touches the High-Drive spouse. Explained to husband that I really want to be touched...and that I feel like the only time he will touch me is during sex.
He explained that he was worried that if he started touching me, I'd immediately want sex.
Funny and FRUSTRATING!
But, we had a great talk. I no longer feel so helpless. And I feel like he HEARD me.
So, yeah!
Things are kinda crazy at work...so I'll be reading, but not posting much today.
Afraid that I'll be so busy that I won't get any time with him...and he'll leave. (I did tell Husband this. He responded sweetly with, "Don't worry about that. I'll wait for you." Then he gave me a big hug. )
Afraid that I can't handle the studying required. That this is harder than I can imagine.
Afraid of failing.
And Heck..I'm afraid of suceeding too.
If I suceed, I won't be a secretary any longer...and there is some security in being an employee whom others tell what to do.
On the other hand...I could do two things.
I could become a Non-Profit Management Masters degree holder...which means I can either stay at my University in some sort of Administrative position.
Or I can get a great job at some other Non-Profit in town.
Either of which would be very fulfilling.
Or I could go for the big dream...the one that scares me the most.
I could become a Marriage and Family Therapist.
That's a lot of responsibility.
I know I've made mistakes on the BB.
And I've had the safety net of not being the only voice here.
When I'm wrong...I know y'all will say something!
I won't have y'all to help me in my private practice.
So...lots of fears.
Having to process them, breathe deep, and take the next baby step forward despite fears.
PIB - I congratulate you on your choice to go back to Grad school.
Quote: Afraid that I'll be so busy that I won't get any time with him...and he'll leave.
When I went to law school I had to do it at night and work 40+ hours /wk. Although I was already D from my 1st marriage I felt that to keep my sannity I had to make time for me so I joined a pool league 1 night a week. It did not detract from my classes and gave me a much needed break from work as well as all the studying. And it gave me some social interaction as well which I believe kept me focused.
I would suggest that you set aside some time for your H while going to school. of course take advantage of all the little times together that will pop up, but the planned time will be special.
When I went to law school I had to do it at night and work 40+ hours /wk. Although I was already D from my 1st marriage I felt that to keep my sannity I had to make time for me so I joined a pool league 1 night a week. It did not detract from my classes and gave me a much needed break from work as well as all the studying. And it gave me some social interaction as well which I believe kept me focused.
I really needed to hear that. I CAN do this! I CAN work 40 hours, go to school, and have time with my husband.
) 
