OGDA, I AM lurking...my son got married this last weekend, so I've been a bit distracted, but I'm catching up on my lurking now...
I look forward to talking to you OGDA!
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
good news - I had an IM from C first thing this morning and then when she got back from lunch another - When I went to lunch I went to Chinese and my fortune cookie had an interesting statement -- "your suitor needs subtle encouragement to open up" So after my last client and as I was about to leave the office I noticed C was still online, so I thought I would do the innitiating and sent her the "Bob the Builder" icon that I have adopted as mine - She replied with "I hope your headache is better" (I have had one all day and we had talked about it in our earlier IMs) then after a little chitchat I said that I was about to leave the office and just wanted to wish her a good night.
She replied with "Thank you, Very Much.... You too!!! then she sent me the Rose Icon without me sending the rainbow first. (one of my goals - and you will have to read my earlier threads to see where that is comming from) I replied with the Rainbow Icon and left the office with a smile.
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Thanks again Laurie - I always do enjoy talking with you.
Also a further update - when I got back to the office I noticed C had sent me an IM - I responded and we chated some and then she asked me if I was working out tonight (gym is near her house) and I said yes - she aske me to call her when I get done and then said "maybe we can get together for a few"
Then she sent me "See ya, with rose Icon again. Will keep y'all posted.
when I got through working out I was supprised to find C standing in the loby waiting for me. (dressed to the nines) Blouse and slacks that accented her curves very well - had her nails done today during lunch and her hair was really nice. (of course I told her she looked great) I also noticed she was still wearing the ankle bracelet that I bought her on our honeymoon.
invited me to go to dinner with her and we had a great meal - and when the waiter (her son - interesting that she wanted to take me to dinner where her son works) brought out the wine we did a toast to us.
after dinner she shared with me her thoughts on selling her business and her reasons and I told her that if she thought that that was the best thing that it likely was and I was behind her 100%.
As we were heading home she told me that she would really like to have invited me to go out with the rest of her family on Friday night to wish son Bon voyage but that she would not want to put me into an awkward situation. She said that she really would like to have me there but that someone else was coming and that there was no way she could get out of that and it would be awkward. Said she even talked with sis about asking me. I told C that I would be find and to enjoy herself. She did say that she wanted to be able to see me when ever she wanted without feeling like she wanted to push away again. Said she felt like she needed to go back to counciling but that she did not like the one she was going to. she asked me if I was still posting and that she felt that this board was the best thing I could have found at that time. (she is right because without my friends here on the board and the DR book I would have given up within a few months and it would have been over.)I also told her that I had talked with Laurie today and that I felt that I got alot out of my DBing coaches. I told C that she was free to post here as well and that no one here would take sides but would be supportave. Also told her that the DBing coaches would be able to help her too if she wanted. Maybe since she is kinda taking a new view of her situation and starting to pursue more that she might be receptive to posting. ???
Later as she dropped me back at my car at the gym she talked some more about our great weekend a few weekends ago and she said that before long she and Buster were going to come over and spend the night with me.
She also said that we were going to have to do another weekend again and more yard sellng and things.
We also did lots of hugging and kissing in the car before I left.
Anyway, I think it was a very positive night (yes, even the part about Friday night and that she would like to have me there instead of OG - that sitch may be dying out and I feel that she is wanting more weekends with me like our last one together. I will be happy to do that as much as I can.
Good morning Pam - one other thing I forgot to mention - When C met me at the gym and we went to the car she gave me a really nice House Warming Gift. A really nice Copper Mobile with a Crystal ball in the center - If I hang it in the sun it should move with the wind on the sunporch and spread really nice little rainbows all around.
She also said "thanks for being my friend,... and being more than a friend."
Just after I got to work this morning I noticed C log into the messenger and it wasn't but a few minutes till she sent me an IM. She started out with the Hug Icon and we then had a very nice chitchat about last night.
Also another thought I had as I was driving to work. Last night C took some lugage to the Restaurant to loan some to son who is going to China for about 4 to 6 weeks to teach English for some group he is in and just before she gave it to him she aske me if it was ok to loan it to him for the trip since "afterall - it is our luggage"
I also noticed other things she said last night in reference to "our"
It seems as thought she is starting back - I just have to make her feel welcome. I could not have gotten to where I am today without my friends here though. And I will continue to need your help and support because I feel that I still have a long way to go. But at least the rollercoaster is not near as bumpy as it was - it is starting to be a fun ride.
Odga, S l o w l y... stay the course. Keep doing what is obviously working. Don't jump in... NO expectations. I can see from your post you think this is IT. Hopefully, it is, but NO expectations. I don't want to see my friend hurt, again. I don't want to be a wet noodle, either. Just take it s l o w l y. Continue with doing what is working. Let her lead. Go with the flow.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
