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I would stick with what is working. You won't have any confusion when the time is right.


Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
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Congrats on buying a new house! Enjoy your weekend !

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odga Offline OP
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Well she did initiate another IM this morning - just about first thing too. But again only did chitchat and just for a few minutes. But that is 4 of the 5 days this week.

I will keep on keeping on with what is working (I did notice that when I got in this morning before any clients came in I did my prayer for C. and it was within 45 minutes that she did the IM - something to think about.


ODGA
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Hi Ogda -

Thanks for the thoughts about Hope for the Separated on Deb's thread & also for your legal input a couple weeks go. Still working thru all that. I want to set boundries & protect myself but also don't want to make him too mad. He gets veri irritated when I do push him on financial issues, etc. But, he is pretty much not talking to me unless he needs something from me so I don't know that things can get much worse. It's funny how I can feel so detached but then the weekend comes & I feel really sad & missing him.

Sounds like your situation is going well. You seem to really be doing things the right way & I hope it works out for you. It seems to all be in the detaching... I hope someday to be where you are but things w/ H just don't seem promising & I am finding myself questioning if he is really who I want. but, it comes back to that I do love him, just don't really like who he is right now.

Thanks again

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Oops - Sorry I typed your name in wrong!

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Odga,

Hope you are having a good weekend?!

You said something in chat to me the other day and I was wondering who you meant when you said, "don't make someone mad", maybe not quite those words. Did you mean H or att.? Or did you mean both?

Take Care, you are doing great!
Deb


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odga Offline OP
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Hi Deb - this weekend is OK but last weekend was much better.

As to making someone mad - I really don't remember the exact thing we were talking about. I think that we may have been talking about contesting my divorce. That would have made her mad at me and would have been that much harder to DB and that the same may be true in your sitch. if you really fight against the D it will just make him mad at you. After all, even if you contest the D, he will be able to get it and you would have just made him mad. You can let him know that you do not want the D but that you will not contest it.

just M2CW

Hope you are having a great weekend too.


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Odga,
That is what we were talking about. But, I think dragging the D out is what I would be doing. Yes he can just go and file even though I also filed. But then as his att said to him in court last, by counter-petioning it would only cost him $25 but if H filed it would cost him more. I think I shocked my H by dropping the motion to dismiss.

I still think a Legal separation would have been beter. They say it is like a D, but I would have been able to stay on his medical insurance. According to my att, I will never be able to remarry anyway, if I want to keep the maintence coming in every month.But then, I mated for life, so I'm not looking! So the only difference is, H wouldn't be able to remarry either. So what is this saying that H wants to remarry or that he legally wants to be D? Frankly I don't think he knows what he wants...Me? I just want to survive... My home is here, I'm happy with where I live, except the winter months, but even then, I have survived one 1/2 winters alone, so...

Been doing alot of bible reading and rereading Ed Wheats book! I think there is ONE person I can count on and that is God! I know he will never let me down, he is always there to listen and he will always show me the right way to go.

What a great day for golfing yesterday! God was everywhere yesterday! Life was good! Heck, I even got two pars! Now that is a miracle!

Deb


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odga Offline OP
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Good morning all - I was thinking that this weekend and Fathers day was going to be a bust-and it was until last night. Got a call from C around 9:25 and she wished me a happy fathers day. Then we started just chitchatting and ended up talking for around 50 minutes. In the convo she told me that she had been praying alot this weekend for everyone she knows (so I guess there were some prayers for me in there) also said that she thought about me several times over the weekend and almost called but seems that something came up and didn't. She did ask me if I was depressed in that she did not talk to me much after last weekend. (I was thinking that usually after a good connection time w/ C she usually does retreat some, but that she did send me an IM 5 times last week over 4 days and that was more that she usually does) I told her that I was not depressed and put forth a good happy voice as we talked. We even hinted around about a little phone sex.

She did say that she really did enjoy last weekend and thanked me again for the time.

All in all I think it was a great phone convo. She ended the call with "I'll talk with you tomorrow" and then we wished each other sweet dreams and a good night.


ODGA
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odga Offline OP
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Howdy all -

Well I got another short IM from C this morning - seems like she initiates just a little every day or so. And with the nice long telephone call on Sunday night I am really encouraged about her direction. (I just wish she was moving faster but --- I can be patient)

One thing I was wondering tho. (from you ladies out there) C told me when I got back from Boston that she almost went with me but just could not make herself go. Then she told me after I got back from Destin that she was just " that close to comming down on Saturday. Then this last Sunday she told me that while she was yard sale shopping this last weekend she came just " this close to getting me an electric scooter (When I got Buster for her for anniversary in 03 [chihuahua pup] she almost got me one then [for the camper so go to the campground store and all] She said at least she is thinking of me. Anyway - what is it with all these "almost"?

Anyway - On the home front - closing on the new house has been pushed back just a little more - now looks like it will be sometime Friday - Mortgage broker says that he really thinks that this one will be it tho. But that leave me with nothing to do tomorrow (our anniversary) Will see if she makes any suggestion???

Well - guess I had better do some work around this place - (make a buck or two)

everyone - just another thought - In looking back on when C initiated an IM and the phone call on Sunday night was within a short time of when I did my prayer for her. (of course I don't just pray for her once a day. More like 4 or 5 times whenever I think about it) I really don't think that the timing is just coinsidence tho. And she has told me that she is thinking about me more - I am convenced that she is thinking about me in response to my prayers.

Everyone have a great day and keep smiling (and praying - God can not force anyone to do something against their will but He sure can do some powerful nudging)


ODGA
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