Was W seeing someone b4 you 2 divorced. It always baffles me that people D and then date. Someone said that people let PRIDE get in the way of keeping the family 2gether.
C dropped the bomb on Aug 9, filed for D in Sept. final order Oct 14. We continued dating through Jan 04 when she dropped bomb 2 that she had had A before the D (don't know when the physical started - if before or after bomb 1) But she was definately seeing someone before and from what I have gathered in talking with her it was going on for several months before bomb 1.
BUT
just got an im from C - she wants me to come over to go out for dinner tonight and wanted me to bring my swimsuit. She did not say what she had in mind, but she is the one that is pursuing now and I will go along for the ride for now. Could be fun.
I just want to say; you have become the DB king! You have been a great friend and we have had many good chats. I hoped I helped you. Can't wit to hear how your weekend was!
Friday morning C IM me and asked if I did not have anything to do that night if I wanted to come over and go out for dinner. I said sure and she said that I should bring my swimsuit. Well, C called me mid afternoon and said that she was shutting down her office for the day and heading on over to her Sister’s pool for a swim and that I should meet her there. (Sis and BIL and kids are on Vacation and C was watching the place) Well I met her and changed into the swimsuit and we paddled around some and lounged on the floats for awhile and just talked and laughed, kissed and hugged. She was wearing a one piece suit rather that some of her bikinis she use to wear and said that she was wearing it because she felt like an old ugly fat woman. I quickly let her know that I did not think she was ugly, or fat.
She said that we could either go to her place and grill some steaks or go out.
We ended up going to her place and grilling out. After dinner we watched some tv and talked about going to some yard sells in the morning to look for some patio furniture for my new deck. Lately, C has been going to a lot of yard sells and finding some really good deals. She knew of a house that was doing a yard sale right near Sis’s place that had advertised some patio furniture so we decided to go and check it out. That kinda meant that I would have to be there very early the next morning. We caught the middle of a show on TBS (What Women Want) She said she had not seen it before and I filled her in on the plot up to the point of where we started watching and we finished watching the movie. She really did seem to enjoy it. Right after we started watching the movie and during a commercial, she changed to her night gown. During the swim, Dinner and watching TV we had done some kissing and hugging. After the movie we decided to go to bed and I was kissing her goodnight and she said that if I wanted to I could sleep with her instead of in the guest room.
We then get ready for bed and then we ML (first time in over 4 months). Slept well Friday night. Saturday morning I got up and fixed coffee and we then scrounged around to find me some cloths to wear. I still had some underwear in my drawer she set up for me in November. In fact I had a lot more there than I thought I did.
We went to the sale and found that they were not open yet so we went to Burger King for some breakfast and when we got back to the house they were still not open but did set up within a few minutes tho. We did not find any patio furniture but did pickup a few other items then wen to a few other places and then headed back to her place. I loaded up the riding lawnmower onto my utility trailer so we could take it to the shop. On the way to the shop we stopped by several more yard sales and found some items. We generally just had lots of fun kidding with each other. managing the puppies (yes, we did have both of them with us), and laughing and enjoying each other’s company.
Ended up taking the puppies by my apartment so they would not be underfoot, then went to lunch at cracker barrel’s then took the mower in for repairs before heading back to my place to pickup the puppies and head back to her place. We stopped by her Sisters pool on the way and took a dip for about an hour or so before going on back to her place. By then it was time for dinner and we went out to get Mexican and some margariettas. After dinner we went to block buster’s and picked up 4 movies and went home to watch one of them. We only managed to watch the movie for about 15 minutes before we got so involved in each other that we did not see the movie. I spent Saturday night there as well.
Sunday morning I got up and fixed coffee and then while she enjoyed her cup I fixed her breakfast which we enjoyed on the back deck listening to the birds. After breakfast we just enjoyed relaxing and talking more. We did end up going to the nail salon to get a manicure and a pedicure (yes I did it too). We then went to lunch at Schlotzsky's Deli and went to Home Depot to get her some tools. (she has found that she does like to do minor home repairs and is already missing my tools. After coming back to her place I helped with a few things on her Honey do list then kissed her by and headed home.
All in all a GREAT weekend.
Some interesting points about the weekend though. (Some of these thoughts are not necessarily in chronological order)
She did say, however, that she still was not ready to give a commitment to us and just wanted me to accept our time together for that time and to not get any false hopes. She followed with the statement that she was not screwing around with everyone else though. She also said that I should not let this weekend stop me from continuing to move on with my life and doing things with other people. (do I remember the point in DR that one should not believe anything they say and only half of what they do?)
On the other hand on Saturday she said “see what happens when you let go and not pursue and let me initiate contact”. The phraseology sounded VERY familiar to me - (as it would to anyone here on the board). Sunday, in some of our talking she did admit that when she got her laptop back from me when I used it in Boston, that she checked the history and found the address to the Board and checked out all of my post. I told her that If I had not posted then I would not have been with her at that moment and likely would not have even been talking to her ever. She said she was not angry that I had posted and was even envious of my for the support I had received here. She did tell me that she had not checked out any of my post since then, did not even have the address anymore, and would not check if she did. She said that I could continue to post without fear she would be checking it out. As all can see here by this long post of my weekend w/ C, I have chosen to trust her on that issue. Also, the fact that she asked me to spend the night with her (2 nights) AFTER she had read all my early post through sometime last month, is encouraging.
She also confided in me about a male friend she had talked with a lot about her issues. I friend I had met before on several occasions. She said that lately he had said on several times this and that about her and her situation but that she did not like what he said. She said that even when I had said the same thing to her that I had said it out of kindness but that his comments were not. She made this comment after she had made several comments about talking with him and assuring me that there was nothing sexual with him, and my response that it is good to have someone to be able to talk with and confide in about your problems.
PS - one other item, when C suggested that I continue to move on and all, I told her that I did not feel that I could have weekends like this one with her then another weekend or date with someone else, the yet another weekend or date with yet someone else. But, rather for me I felt that I needed to reserve ML to just one person. That was just the way I was. C just took that in without coment.
Quote: PS - one other item, when C suggested that I continue to move on and all, I told her that I did not feel that I could have weekends like this one with her then another weekend or date with someone else, the yet another weekend or date with yet someone else. But, rather for me I felt that I needed to reserve ML to just one person. That was just the way I was. C just took that in without coment.
odga, you are playing the 'date others card' very well. Also, your words regarding dating and ML are precious and nearly have an alien quality to them. Everyone knows that this deal goes out the window when you date and find someone special enough...hehehe. Keep up the good work odga.
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
got to work today and within a few minutes I got an IM from C reminding me of a webpage I had written down over the weekend (local university that offered continuing educations classes - work on self improvement and all) and then thanked me for the weekend - told her pleasure was all mine and she replied "all yours, huh......."
for now I will continue to leave the initial contacts to her.
another interesting point from Sunday - Seems that C's dentist will no longer accept the dental insurance that C and I both have and she needs a new dentist. My dentist (who I just started going to) is in an office complex very near C's and My CPA. Well C knows how much I HATE going to the dentist (BC = Before C) I had not been to the dentist in over 5 years. (yes, I know I was a bad boy on that and I am doing much better)
Anyway C needs a new dentist that accepts her insurance and I have told her on several times that my dentist was great so she told me that she was going to start going to him - after all if someone that really hates a dentist will say that one is great then he must be good.
so that will be another thing we will have in common - Same dentist, same CPA, Same bookkeeper.
Also on a different note. the Seller of the house has fix the pool and it has water in it. So when I close I will be able to go swimming right away. yea yea Closing is still set for June 23. ( C and my anniversary) Sunday C asked about when closing was and while I told her I did not use the date - just said a week from this Wednesday. Don't know if she put that together or not.
Closing is still set for June 23. ( C and my anniversary) Sunday C asked about when closing was and while I told her I did not use the date - just said a week from this Wednesday. Don't know if she put that together or not.