Deb suggested I drop by and read up on your sitch. I went back and read through some of your past posts. You are truly an inspiration!
You especially inspire those of us that are D, but think it is best to stay friends. I think DBing eventually becomes a part of you and you don't even know when you are doing it anymore. That has obviously happened to you and C has noticed!!
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Sun thanks for dropping by - I believe Deb has it right on her thread. DBing is a lifestyle not a diet. When (I was going to say "if" but gota go with the power of positive thinking) C and I get back together I will continue to use the keeping love alive tapes and videos in our future.
Don't meant to hijack your thread but I have a couple legal questions & didn't know if you might have some insight.
1-My H has moved out again. The house is in my name only as it was mine before we met. Am I allowed to change the locks?
2-He claims he has right to leave his stuff here for 6 months beforer I can get rid of it or force him to take. Is this true?
3-If he declares banklruptcy, how will this affect me? Most of the debt we accumulated while together is in my name except the truck he is driving is in both of our names. He is refusing to make pmts because he doesn;t care about his credit.
He is being quite an A**HOLE recently. He says if I don't file & pay for D, he will do it his way which includes declaring bankruptcy, try to take 1/2 my 401k, jeapordize my job, etc. Deep down I think he is just threatening me & I don't think he has the gumption (sp?) or follow thru to figure out how to do any of this but he is really being a jerk lately.
Sorry for the hijack, just wondered if you have any advice on these things.
Hi slt - Personally I don't see any problem with changing the locks if the house is in your name, but I am not familiar with the property and family laws of the state of Mich.
The same is true of his stuff - Mich. might have special laws on when property is deemed to be abandoned.
I would suggest that you contact an attorney in Mich. Not necessarily with the idea of getting a D but of protecting your intrest and maybe waking him up.
As for Bankruptcy - any debt that is in your name is your responsibility. as for joint debt - if he files then that would discharge his obligation for that debt and it would all fall on you. if he does not pay for the truck and it gets repossessed and he files Bankruptcy then you would be liable for the ballance of the unpaid debt.
again I would suggest that you contact an attorney asap to protect your interest. Might file some protection order to allow you to take the truck, but you would have to keep making payments.
On the 401k - I don't see him getting 1/2 but again I do not know the laws of Mich.
I am sorry you are going through this but sometimes the WAS is in such a fog and can do real dammage to the R. Sometimes even so much damage that it is not fixable.
Again, I would find an good family law attorney ASAP.
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Laurie - thanks so much for checking - Weekend was good but generally uneventful - no contact w/ C but then I am leaving any contact between us up to her. any reconnection is on her time schedule. I contact her only when I need to to make arrangements to pick up something from her house etc. and when she does contact me I respond in a very upbeat and plesant manner.
I do plan to contact you again soon for a coaching session -Touch base with you then.
after a really good "date" with C last Thursday night I have had no contact w/ her since. This giving her space while she works through her feelings is hard.
I have been keeping to my goals of praying for her at least once every day (even told her that she was in my prayers last Thursday) and saying something positive about her to someone else every day.
hope everyone here keeps her (and me) in your prayers too.
update - just got an IM from C - she just wanted to say hi - was plesant and did general chit chat for a few - when she said she would catch me later I wished her a great day. and sent a
well a little bit of bad news - seems that all the paperwork is not ready to close on the new home on the 11th - no other date set yet but I hope real soon
