Well, seems that JJ locked my thread too. It is just as well as the old one Burned out on trying does not reflect my present attitude.
It seems that when I started the last thread I had really given up all hope. However, I remained plesant and friendly but did not show signs of any hope for our future when we were together and I made plans to find someone else and move on.
Seems that C is rethinking her position and is pursuing me a little. She is still not ready to say she wants back but she seems really eager to be with me. She seems to really be confused by her feelings tho. she knows that she is pushing me away then pulling me in then pushing away again and she says that that is confusing her too.
I am encouraged by the general direction of it all tho and feel that there is hope if you'll just smile. My new thread is lifted out of a song I heard on the way to Destin last weekend called Smile (by Nat King Cole)
C and I got together tonight after work to look at my new home and get some hot wings, then to my apartment til 10:30. I had a really great time ended up with lots of good hugging and kissing. She said that it has been a long time since she had done that. Said she really missed me. said she really wanted to stay but felt that she needed to go home for now. I told her that when we first met that I did not pressure her to do anything she did not feel ready to do and said that I would not pressure her now and that I felt that she was worth waiting for. She DID SAY ILY and then after saying that she said "I am not just saying that, I mean it"
She told me that her SIS and BIL were doing much better and even had gone away for the weekend together and she seemed reallly supprised that I was very happy for them and even more supprised when I told her that I had been praying for them to do better.
She also commented on the fact that I had been working out and she could feel that I had toned up alot in my back, arms, chest and generally all over. She even suggested that we might even start working out again together a few mornings a week.
One other thing - C went to see her CPA this morning and after that she dropped by my D's office to say HI. Seems that she is wanting to maintain (or re-establish) contact with my side of the family. She could have easily have just not gone by D's.
I am encouraged but I will remember - SLOOOOWLY, let her move on her own schedule. Keep praying - both to give thanks, and to ask His continued help. Keep boosting her ego and just plain caring.
